“The Kentucky Derby”
Season: 3
Episode: #6

Episode recap:

It’s starting to seem like la casa de Nick and Jess might be haunted by some creepy animals. First it was the attack of the bees, then the dying birds, and now it’s turds, huge huge turds that must be coming from some very large animals. “Come look at this turd,” Nick calls to Drew, as the guys try to decipher the poop and figure out what kind of animal could have laid a thing that large.

Meanwhile, Jessica and CaCee head off to Escada to look for a girly dress for Jess to wear to the Kentucky Derby. After trying on a kazillion outfits, the winning dress is picked out and a huge pink floppy hat is chosen to top it off. The girls finish their little shopping escapade and roll over to meet Nick, Drew and his wife, Lea at a restaurant. Dinner conversation revolves around the notorious turd, and the girls get a little spooked out as they wonder how big their lurking predator could be. Later that night Nick, Jess, and CaCee return to the house and Nick begins his quest to find the mysterious animal in the yard as the girls grow more creeped out imagining this scary pooper.

The next day, our newlyweds head down to Kentucky and bunk up with Tony and Lisa for the big Derby. That night, the two couples are scheduled to make their appearance at a charity event, but Jess and Lisa are running a little behind schedule. “One of our girls is dressed and one is in sweats,” Tony reports to Nick. Finally, the four are dressed and ready to go. They arrive at the big event, walk the red carpet, and canoodle with some celebs before heading off to the after party at the Blue Martini. This is where the action is, and the couples do some dancin’ and drinkin’ and eventually head home as Tony starts yawnin’.

In the morning, it’s time for the Kentucky Derby, and once again the girls seem to be having a bit of an issue getting dressed. Finally everyone leaves the house, waves a quick hello to the hordes of neighborhood kids gathered in the front yard, and arrives at the Derby. The weather looks threatening, and sure enough it starts pouring. Jessica poses for some pictures with Lisa and tries relentlessly to arrange her giant hat so it isn’t in the way of the pics. Once it’s clear that the race is still on, Nick decides it’s time to bet some money and tries to make Jessica happy by betting on her choice, Smarty Jones. Jess hopes that Nick will bet 500 dollars on Smarty, but Nick doesn’t believe this horse is going to win so he only bets 15. Sure enough, Smarty wins and Nick feels more than a little stupid as he realizes he shoulda listened to Jess. “You’re my smarty Jones,” Nick tells Jess; “I’m smart, that’s why I chose him,” replies Jess.

The couple returns to L.A. and discovers more turds hidden in their lawn. They quickly find an exterminator to deal with their little problem, and can only hope that will be the end of the turds. They’re out of luck however, and discover another piece of poop the next day. Realizing it’s back to square one, Nick and Jess wonder what they should do next.

Extras

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