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12-5-99

Hey guys…it is me. I am writing to whine a little and I am normally not much of a whiner but I feel so down. I have had to cancel my last few shows and the ones I tried so hard to sing at nothing would come out right. I am sick with strep, the flu and I am not sure exactly what else and I want to perform so bad it makes me cry…

A lot of people have suggested I lip sync the shows but I do not believe in that…I want to be honest about what I am singing…performing for me is all about making my audience feel what I am feeling and when you lip sync there is no way they can feel your true heart…I have been to the doctor and I should not even be talking according to him but it is hard to “shut me up”…

Basically I am writing to all of you to ask for your prayers and encouragement so I can get back to normal and sing my booty off the way i like to. I have a lot more shows to do before I take off for Christmas and my show is my only gift to so many of you who support me…I just want to give that to you all. I cannot even put into words the feeling of standing in front of thousands of people, pumped to do the very thing i love to do and then to open my mouth and nothing come out…it is the scariest feeling in the world for a singer…I have never had this happen and it is the most helpless feeling ever…. the doctor says my voice will be back to normal in a few days but I am impatient…

Please pray that I will heal quickly and properly…I need you all. Thanks for listening to me…you all are so amazing…I already feel better!!! I will write again with an update later…

much love, Jessica