If tabs fixated on facts with a quarter of the intensity they use to obsess over celebrity bodies, they could probably break some actual news.
“There’s a wonderful baby secret behind Jessica Simpson’s recent weight gain!” gushes the National Enquirer.
Oh, boy (or girl).
This ought to be good.
Sources tell the tabloid that Simpson is “sporting a happy glow” because she’s “actively trying to conceive” with new boyfriend Eric Johnson.
Wait, she has the “glow” of pregnancy… but might not actually be pregnant? We’re starting to get confused.
Simpson’s “friends” helpfully inform the Enquirer that she “may already be pregnant.”
Um, she “may” be pregnant?
“It looks like Jessica’s dream of having a baby is family is finally coming true,” says a “close friend.”
“She always said she wants to be settled down and pregnant by the time she was 30,” adds the source later. “Now, for the first time in a long time, she’s incredibly happy and in love.”
OK, so according to Enquirer logic, because Simpson is 30 years old and in love… she’s biologically required to be pregnant. And the tabloid acts as though she is, describing physical changes and the singer’s recent pattern of “eating for two.”
In fact, the Enquirer claims, during a recent dinner in New York, Simpson “further tipped her baby plans by not drinking any alcohol.”
The magazine should really stick to a blurry understanding of medicine, because its attempts to include actual details often go haywire.
A source close to Simpson tells Gossip Cop the star actually did happen to drink wine while dining in New York — and that there is no truth whatsoever to the Enquirer’s baby babbling.
Once again, the mag is “cribbing” from the wrong places.